You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
