I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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