it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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