Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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