The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How's work?
Spinning.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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