hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
