Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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