saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
