Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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