when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
