I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize