All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
