he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
