I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
