All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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