I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
