marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
