We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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