it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
