You smell like stripper and shame
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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