He uses pillows to masturbate.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
