smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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