i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
