So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
