How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
they're like a gay fantastic four
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
