I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
