I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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