Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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