Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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