she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
