Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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