Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize