do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
