i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
