you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
