there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
