Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.

(513): View more from Ohio

I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

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(757): View more from Virginia

Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Watching her eat just hurts me

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night

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(315): View more from New York

I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....

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