how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
