with your own penis?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
