so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
