I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
