I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
