ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You're like the curious george of whores
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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