Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
