come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
