yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
