hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
