Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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