those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
