I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i've created a new STD.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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