You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
