i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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