your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
