Christians are straight up FREAKS
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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