LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
