I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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