she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
