I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize