so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize