Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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