yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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