I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
