normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
